The Four Most Overrated Things In Life

Have you ever wanted to be smart and sassy like Christopher Hitchens, without having to sacrifice your liver or your dignity? Well, here’s your chance!

According to a 2006 New Yorker profile, Hitch once declared, apropos of nothing, “that the four most overrated things in life were champagne, lobsters, anal sex, and picnics.” Like all of Hitch’s opinions, his List offends everyone, for different reasons. Still, you can’t help but admit there’s something to it.

Now, thanks to the magic of the internet, we can all disseminate Overrated Lists of our own. The rules are simple. Each List contains exactly four (4) items. You only get one List, so take your time and make it good. While your List should be your own, try not to make it too idiosyncratic (“the deli on my corner”; “stuff I am allergic to”). You can repeat items that appear on other Lists. Don’t worry about being too clever; just make it true to what you believe. And keep in mind: overrated things are not just bad things (global warming and impetigo and Cleveland, for instance, would not make the cut, because they were never rated highly in the first place). In fact, most overrated things are good — just not that good, for crying out loud.

Please submit your List to overratedlist@gmail.com, along with your first name, age, and city of residence. If you want your name to appear as a link to another site, please include that as well.

Taylor’s List

1. Fancy silverware

2. Self-esteem

3. “Drinkability”

4. Bipartisanship

(Taylor / New York, NY / Age 24)

Margaret’s List

1. Fashion rules

2. Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps

3. “How are you?”

4. Neatness

(Margaret / Tampa, FL / Age 19)

Jeremy’s List

1. Thomas Friedman

2. Independent coffee houses

3. Organic [fill in the blank]

4. Sociology

(Jeremy / New York, NY / Age 24)

Carrie’s List

1. Marriage proposals

2. Sea kayaking

3. New Year’s Eve

4. Bill Clinton

(Carrie / New York, NY / Age 25)

Dan’s List

1. Boston

2. Elliptical machines

3. Hybrid cars

4. Coffee dates

(Dan / Quito, Ecuador / Age 24)

Tofu’s List

1. Playing fetch

2. Swimming

3. Arugula

4. Head scratches

(Tofu / Providence, RI / Age 4 / Canis lupus familiaris)

Liz’s List

1. Thomas Pynchon

2. Foie gras

3. Chicago

4. Watching Olympic swimming

(Liz / Los Angeles, CA / Age 28)

Zoe’s List

1. Pink Floyd

2. Lawns

3. Children

4. God

(Zoe / Wichita, KS / Age 29)

Nikole’s List

1. Molecular gastronomy

2. Web 2.0

3. Kings of Leon

4. Maria Bartiromo

(Nikole / Brooklyn, NY / Age 25)

Gena’s List

1. Julia Roberts

2. House, M.D.

3. Going to concerts

4. Celebrity chefs

(Gena / Brooklyn, NY / Age 36)

Sara’s List

1. San Francisco

2. Babies

3. Small plates

4. Harvard Business School

(Sara / Silicon Valley, CA / Age 25)

Kate’s List

1. The Internet

2. Ramps

3. Romantic love

4. Judd Apatow

(Kate / Washington, DC / Age 26)

Becca’s List

1. Shakespeare

2. High school

3. “The good ol’ days”

4. Starbucks

(Becca / Bowling Green, KY / Age 20)

Laura’s List

1. Vegetarianism

2. Careers

3. Families

4. Stilettos

(Laura / Washington, DC / Age 24)

Elizabeth’s List

1. Turkey (meat)

2. Classical music

3. Sports

4. Southern hospitality

(Elizabeth / Tulsa, OK / Age 18)

Michelle’s List

1. Being drunk and high at the same time

2. Baked beans

3. Flush toilets

4. Jam bands

(Michelle / Philadelphia, PA / Age 24)

Savia’s List

1. The 69 position

2. Spray lube

3. Vibrating cock rings

4. Ginormously large penises

(Savia / Regina, SK / Age 30)

Victoria’s List

1. Amy Winehouse

2. The Beatles

3. Battlestar Galactica

4. Capitalism

(Victoria / Stevenage, UK / Age 33)

Lori’s List

1. Traveling

2. This American Life

3. Good grammar

4. Physical beauty

(Lori / Detroit, MI / Age 31)

Alison’s List

1. Babies

2. Marriage

3. Hipsters

4. Lost

(Alison / Minneapolis, MN / Age 25)

Lindsea’s List

1. Waking up early

2. Cigarettes

3. Noise-reduction headphones

4. Stanford University

(Lindsea / Honolulu, HI / Age 18)

Anna’s List

1. Harmonicas

2. San Francisco

3. Soy

4. Telling the truth

(Anna / New York, NY / Age 23)

Sheana’s List

1. Getting an M.A.

2. Recycling

3. Blueberries

4. Morrissey

(Sheana / Bowling Green, OH / Age 25)

Mimi’s List

1. Bars

2. Tapas

3. New Year’s Eve

4. Cruises

(Mimi / Brooklyn, NY / Age 24)

Erica’s List

1. Children

2. Football

3. Mushrooms

4. American Idol

(Erica / Laurel, MD / Age 27)

Jeff’s List

1. “Indie” anything

2. Fashion

3. Babies

4. Homeownership

(Jeff / Seattle, WA / Age 28)

Emily’s List

1. Donuts

2. Twitter

3. Padded bras

4. Lance Armstrong

(Emily / Washington, DC / Age 23)

Jessica’s List

1. Being a member of a wedding party

2. Graduating from college in four years or less

3. Moleskine notebooks

4. Music festivals

(Jessica / Chicago, IL / Age 20)

Catharine’s List

1. New Year’s Eve

2. Losing your virginity

3. Strapless bras

4. Out-of-office assistant

(Catharine / New York, NY / Age 25)

Laura’s List

1. Harvard

2. Loose tea

3. The Joy of Cooking

4. Capitalism

(Laura / Somerville, MA / Age 27)

Anya’s List

1. Growing up

2. Texting

3. Marriage

4. White flour

(Anya / Santa Cruz, CA / Age 23)

Stephanie’s List

1. Potlucks

2. Internet slang

3. The Tipping Point

4. Overrated Lists

(Stephanie / Providence, RI / 28)

Rita’s List

1. Money

2. Sex

3. Intelligence

4. Power

(Rita / Los Angeles, CA / Age 57)

Chris’s List

1. Cigars

2. Hot bitches

3. Mid-life crises

4. The After Party

(Chris / Brooklyn, NY / Age 32)

Julia’s List

1. Football

2. Steak

3. High heels

4. Dave Eggers

(Julia / Providence, RI / Age 25)

Bess’s List

1. The Mile High Club

2. A Master’s Degree

3. JFK

4. Food “tartare”

(Bess / New York, NY / Age 23)

Matthew’s List

1. Blade Runner

2. Jonas Akerlund

3. Nutella

4. James Brown

(Matthew / Providence, RI / Age 28)

Naomi’s List

1. Sporks

2. Foam Soap

3. Gazebos

4. The Alchemist

(Naomi / Miami, FL / Age 25)

Sharmila’s List

1. Chai

2. Cricket

3. Khajuraho

4. Shakespeare

(Sharmila / New Delhi, India / Age 26)

Caitlin’s List

1. Full-time motherhood

2. Alcohol

3. New clothes

4. Gyms

(Caitlin / Baltimore, MD / Age 40)